Tips For Superiors

Once I was present at the evaluation of a course by a group of students.  The students were very outspoken and criticized almost everything about the course.  They had quite harsh words also against the way the director handled the course.  The director, who was chairing the evaluation, sat through the whole process patiently, listening attentively, occasionally pointing out some facts without trying to justify anything.  He was in control of himself, never lost his temper, did not talk down to anyone, and said what he had to say with an effective voice.  At the end of the session, I overheard one of the students, who was rather new, asking another student: “How could you be so forthright and critical?”  The other replied more or less in these terms, “We know the director.  He is soft-spoken but tough.  He can take any criticism and will not retaliate.  He is a man of honour who wishes the good of others.”  The director, in other words, was a meek person.

What is Meekness?

            Different dictionaries describe meekness as the quality of being quiet, gentle, moderate, mild, submissive, and unwilling to argue or express one’s opinions.  The word meekness as it is used in the Bible or in the statements of Jesus (Mt 5:5; 11:29) implies much more and has nuances that are not stressed in the modern-day descriptions.

            In Mt 11:29 Jesus says: “learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart” (NAB).  Many translations use the word “gentle” in the place of meek.  The original Greek word that is translated in English as “meek” or “gentle” is praus.  We do not enter into a detailed analysis of this word here.  But according to Biblical scholars this word may be better translated as being “temperate; exercising strength under control, demonstrating power without undue harshness.”  It has to do with being considerate and not being overly caught up with a sense of one’s self-importance.  It is the opposite of self-assertiveness and self-interest.  According to William Barclay, “There is gentleness in praus but behind the gentleness there is the strength of steel, for the supreme characteristic of the man who is praus is that he is the man who is under perfect control.  It is not a spineless gentleness, a sentimental fondness, a passive quietism.  It is a strength under control.”

Jose Kuttianimattathil, sdb

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In July 1991, the British physicist Andrew G. Lyne and two of his colleagues published a paper in the prestigious science journal, Nature, claiming that they had discovered a planet orbiting around a neutron star.  It was considered a major discovery.  But six months later, on 15 January 1992, before a crowd of astronomers who had gathered for a conference where Lyne was supposed to make a presentation of his discovery, he admitted that he had made a mistake in his calculations and the planet did not really exist.  As he finished admitting his mistake the scientists gave him a standing ovation.  John Bahcall, an astrophysicist who was at the meeting said that “it was the most honorable thing I have ever seen.”

            All of us make mistakes.  However, we are often reluctant to admit our mistakes.  We find it difficult because we feel ashamed.  We think that to admit being wrong is to admit before others that we are incompetent and amateurish.  This, we believe will make us lose face in front of others hurting our self-esteem.  We fear that admitting mistakes will have negative consequences: others will look down upon us, we will be made fun of, we might lose the trust of others, and we might even be punished.  Being reluctant to admit mistakes we try to cover it up, attempt to justify it or worse, lie about it.

Jose Kuttianimattathil, sdb

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Recently I visited a friend of mine, a former provincial.  During the course of our conversation he mentioned the name of a young priest who would soon be going for higher studies in spirituality.  Having known something about the community where this priest had worked, I remarked that he had not done too well there.  To this my friend replied, “He does everything by himself.  He does not like to consult anyone.  It would be good for him to listen to others.”  This priest, in other words, was lacking interpersonal humility.

            We have described humility as the capacity to have an accurate knowledge of oneself, value others, be open to learn and see oneself as part of the greater reality.  There are different types or dimensions of humility each emphasizing one or other aspect of this virtue.  Knowing these dimensions can help a leader to interact with others more effectively.

            Intellectual Humility: This refers to an awareness of the limits of one’s knowledge, willingness to admit one’s mistakes, openness to feedback and readiness to learn from others.  Intellectual humility can be considered from different perspectives:

1. internal, that is at the level of thoughts and musings that remain within oneself without being outwardly expressed. These can be a) about oneself, this needs inquiring within, e.g. am I seeing clearly? or b) about others, this requires focussing on others, e.g. what is it that the other person is really believing?
2. expressed, that is at the level of action and behaviour that can be seen. This also can be a) about oneself, this requires integrity, e.g. is my action consistent with what I believe? or b) about others, this calls for relating respectfully and with trust e.g. Is my treatment of the other respectful even though the other’s views are different?

Jose Kuttianimattathil, sdb

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Fr. Joseph Thekkedathu was a reputed Church historian.   A man of slender frame and few words he had a prodigious memory.  He was considered a just and upright person.  Apart from his classes which were very much appreciated, what the seminarians remember about him is how he apologized to them for some decisions he had made as the superior of the community and tried to firmly implement, which he later realized was not to the best interests of the community.  His apology raised his esteem among the seminarians.  Humility has a power, all its own!

Why are Leadership Studies Dealing with Humility?

            In the past it was not common to associate humility with leadership.  However, this is changing.  Some of the reasons why research on leadership is now dealing with humility are the following:

• Interdependence and the need to cooperate: Today, more than before, organizations and marketplaces are becoming interdependent. Let us take the simple example of a school.  Earlier, the principal and the teachers could manage a school more or less well.  Today they are dependent on agencies that sell the books, shops that provide the uniform, organizations that run the school bus, different technicians to deal with the various gadgets they use, the electricity board, the water authorities and a host of other service-providing agencies.  This calls for a capacity to collaborate and elicit collaboration.  Humility is a help for this as it enables a person to change one’s views and be open to the views of others.

Jose Kuttianimattathil, sdb

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Fr. Joseph Murphy died of a heart attack while playing cricket.  Those who lived with him remember him not for the unexpected way in which he died but for the inspiring way in which he lived.  Fr. Murphy loved games.  And as he played hard to win he would often hurt others on the field, all young seminarians, through his angry words.  But at the end of the day, he would be seen walking up to one or other of the seminarians whom he had hurt to say sorry.  He was the principal of the college.  But he was noble enough to ask forgiveness from those much younger to him whom he had hurt.  Fr. Murphy was humble.  He was a leader.

            We have been accustomed to speaking about the importance of humility for our spiritual life.  St Augustine was guiding a young man named Dioscorus.  When Dioscorus asked him how he could draw closer to God, what was the way to God, St Augustine replied, “This way is first humility, second humility, third humility and no matter how often you keep asking me I will say the same over and over again” (Augustine, Letter 118).  What St Augustine was driving home was that humility is very important for our spiritual journey.  Certainly, our spiritual journey deals not only with our relationship with God, but also with our relationship with others.  However, humility was not spoken of much outside the sphere of spirituality, for instance in the sphere of work, politics, business, leadership.

Jose Kuttianimattathil, sdb

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It was time for the change of provincial in a province. There were three prominent persons who could occupy the post. One was the vice-provincial and known to be a disciplinarian. The other was very intelligent, very competent in his field, and known for bulldozing and getting his way. The third had many academic qualifications, was good at socializing, and was known for always putting his interests first. Finally, the province opted for a fourth person saying, “Let us have as our provincial someone who is human.” The fourth person had what we would today call emotional intelligence. Usually it is assumed that to be a successful leader it is enough to be intelligent, competent, determined and have a vision. While these are needed, they are not sufficient.
We have looked at different types of leadership in the past months. We have also described the main qualities that characterize each of those leadership styles. In this article we shall describe some qualities that all leaders should strive for, even though one’s particular style may be that of a servant, shepherd, etc. These are qualities that are important for all leaders. These are based on the research of Daniel Goleman and his collaborators.

Jose Kuttianimattathil, sdb

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Showing us a medium-sized multi-purpose hall that was getting completed Fr. Eligio Caprioglio, the rector of a Salesian institution at Chieri, a small town in northern Italy told us: “Nine years ago I was sent here to close down this institution. But I have not succeeded! I started with a Novena to Mary Help of Christians and with a prayer to the holy souls in purgatory. The youth centre which used to have about thirty or forty members now has 300 young people frequenting it. Our chapel, which is an official Mass centre of the parish, used to have ten or fifteen people on Sundays. Last Sunday we had First communion of fifty children with over 1200 people attending the mass. The school which was on the decline saw an increase of 50% in the following year and now has almost double the number of students.” Surprised by what he was able to achieve, I asked him privately how he had managed to transform the place. He replied, “Prayer. You need to trust God.” “But how is it that you managed to get more students to seek admission in the school?” I asked. He said, “I had to take some tough steps. I changed the principal and four teachers. I appointed new teachers. I am qualified to be a principal and so I acted as the principal for the first few years. We brought up the quality.“ And he continued, “we might take some steps, but we need to pray so that the steps we take will be the right ones.” He told me also that he has more than a hundred people from all walks of life offering voluntary service for the various activities being conducted there.
“The beginning and the end of all Christian leadership is to give your life for others.”
– Henri J.M. Nouwen

Fr. Eligio bubbled with enthusiasm which was quite contagious. And as we walked around, I saw him bending down to smile at a little child, stop to say hello to a group of children at play, sit down by the side of an old lady for a few minutes to ask her how she was. And winking mischievously he confided, “You know, before I came here the provincial had sent me to another institution to close it down. I did not succeed to close down that either. It is flourishing now!” And as we sat down for lunch, Fr. Eligio was there weaving his way between the tables serving us. Later he was the driver of the mini-bus that took us to the next place.

Fr Jose Kuttianimattathil, sdb

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In his autobiography Gandhiji narrates an incident which happened during the first year of his high school studies when he was about thirteen years old.  Mr. Giles, the Educational Inspector who came to the school, gave a spelling test.  Gandhi misspelt the word “kettle.”  The class teacher poked him with his boots prompting him to copy the spelling from his neighbour’s slate.  But Gandhi could not bring himself to copy.  The result was that all the boys except Gandhi were found to have spelt all the words correctly.  And Gandhi appeared stupid.  Speaking of his school days Gandhi remarks: “I do not remember having ever told a lie … either to my teachers or to my school-mates.”

            When John Bosco, more popularly known as Don Bosco, was fourteen years old he had to leave home because of the unfriendliness of his stepbrother and work as a farmhand on the farm of the Moglias in another village.  Every Saturday evening he would ask permission from the Moglias to go to Moncucco, a nearby town, early in the morning on Sunday.  As the Moglias had seen John attend the Holy Mass to which they went later during the day, Mrs. Dorothy Moglia was curious to find out what John was doing in the town so early in the morning.  So, one Sunday she went to the town ahead of John and took up a position from where she could watch him unnoticed.  She found him coming to the town, entering the Church and making his confession to

Fr. Francis Cottino, the parish priest.  Then he attended the first Mass and received holy communion.  Then he waited to attend the later Mass also.  In those years (1829), it was not a common practice to receive holy communion frequently.  But every week John was going to confession and receiving communion all on his own initiative.

Jose Kuttianimattathil, sdb

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  Recently a senior priest shared with me some reminiscences of his ordination.  He had joined the Salesians after working for some years as a teacher.  The bishop who ordained him was known to him.  On the occasion of his ordination he received a letter from the bishop congratulating him and wishing him a very fruitful life as a priest.  A sentence from that letter remains etched on his mind even after so many years: “Do not become a busy priest.”  What the bishop meant was that he should not neglect his spiritual life using the many apostolic activities that he would have to carry out, as an excuse.  Through his letter the bishop was exercising spiritual leadership.

What is Spiritual Leadership?

            There is a growing awareness that leaders should take care not only of the material and emotional well-being of those under their charge but also of their spiritual welfare. Spirituality and religion are related but they are not the same.  Without entering into a detailed discussion, we may consider religion as an organized entity (usually with some structure of authority and governance, and some indicators of belongingness), which holds common beliefs and practices (e.g. the Apostles’ Creed, sacraments).  Spirituality refers to the methods of maintaining connectedness to something larger than oneself (supreme being), the ways of finding meaning in life and the discipline of living one’s life in a loving and sacred manner. One can be spiritual without being a member of an organized religion.  Although the spiritual dimension is a very important part of the human being, leaders often do not concern themselves with it saying that it belongs to a person’s private life.  Today, there is a new realization that people are to be encouraged to bring their whole selves (e.g. physical dimension, emotional dimension, intellectual dimension, spiritual dimension) to their work or whatever they are engaged in and leaders must pay attention to and address all the dimensions.  Spiritual leadership is not about being the leader of a religious/spiritual entity like a parish, diocese or a convent.  Rather, it is about being spiritual and paying attention also to the spiritual dimension of those under our care, or those whom we lead, be it in the workplace, on a sports team, NGO, etc.

Fr Jose Kuttianimattathil SDB

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Don Bosco, a saint who  spent all  his life caring for poor young people, used to tell them, “For you I study, for you I work, for you I live, for  you I am ready even to give my life.”  In fact, Dr. Fissore, the physician who treated him, explaining the cause of his death said: “There is no single cause. It is the result of general exhaustion, the result of a life worn away by unceasing work and continuous worries. Don Bosco is simply worn out because of too much work. He is not dying because of any particular disease, but he is like a lamp which is slowly dying for want of oil.” Occasionally, returning from a visit to a noble or prominent family he would tell the poor youth whom he looked after: “Here in your midst I feel completely at home; for me, living means being here with you.”  In Don Bosco we have an example of a shepherd  leader, one who lovingly cared for others and spent (sacrificed) his life totally for them.

What is Shepherd Leadership?

            Last month we described Jesus as the Servant Leader.  When we read the New Testament we notice that Jesus had a unique perspective on leadership that included at least two other metaphors, namely shepherd and steward.  Here, we shall deal with shepherd leadership.

Jose Kuttianimattathil sdb

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